Your Empathy Should Not Make You Blind.
There’s a part of me that used to feel guilty for pulling back.
For saying no when someone was struggling. For not rushing to rescue the person crying loudest. For closing the door on people who said they were hurting, but kept hurting me.
I used to believe that being a good person meant helping everyone.
That empathy required me to be endlessly available.
That if someone was in pain, it was my job to soothe it, no matter what it cost me.
But here’s what I’ve learned the hard way:
Not everyone who is hurting wants healing.
Some just want access.
If you’re not careful, they’ll wrap their wounds around your light, until you can’t tell where their story ends and your suffering begins.
Pain is Not a Permission Slip
We live in a world where trauma is worn like a badge and sometimes, like a mask.
Not all suffering is sincere. Not every sob story is a soul in alignment.
Some people use their pain to manipulate, to distract, or to disguise intentions they’re not ready to own.
That doesn’t make them evil—it makes them unwell, however unwell doesn’t mean you owe them your energy.
Your compassion doesn’t have to come with a leash.
Boundaries Aren’t Cruel—They’re Sacred
Helping others is powerful. It’s part of why we’re here & helping without discernment turns into rescuing & rescuing often turns into self-abandonment.
You don’t have to destroy yourself to prove you’re kind. You don’t have to bleed out emotionally to be seen as supportive. You’re allowed to walk away without guilt, especially when staying means you’re betraying your own needs.
You Can Love People From a Distance
Let this be your permission slip:
You can be loving and discerning.
You can be empathetic and boundaried.
You can be a healer and say, “Not this time.”
The truth is: love without boundaries isn’t love- it’s leakage.
You deserve relationships that don’t drain the very life you’re working so hard to rebuild.
For the Ones Who Feel Too Much
If you’re someone who’s always seen the best in others, who’s given more chances than you received, who’s stayed when you should’ve run, this message is for you.
You’re not wrong for caring deeply, it’s just that now it’s time to care for you just as deeply, too.
Be kind, but be wise.
Your empathy should not make you blind.
